


My Truth... Is You.

by LydiaWrenWolfram



Category: American Gods (TV)
Genre: F/M, Flashbacks, Masturbation, Post episode 5, Pre-series flashback, sex in phonebooths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 07:04:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18405593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LydiaWrenWolfram/pseuds/LydiaWrenWolfram
Summary: Just Laura and Sweeney's thoughts, feelings, actions after episode five. A flashback to  one time when Laura felt alive long before she ever died, and who's blood she needs.





	1. Laura

**Author's Note:**

> Laura is not the strongest character for me to write, but she got into my head and sat down and wouldn't leave until I wrote her thoughts first.

Guilt was her constant friend. Self-Loathing was her best friend. And when she woke that morning, her cunt sore from the pounding of two sizable cocks last night, her thighs sloppy and sticky with Leprechaun cum, that best friend hugged her from behind and called her all sorts of things in her ear, especially “You stupid idiot… he played you… they’re all playing you. No one gives a fuck about you… you should feel like shit for enjoying fucking him, Laura.” Self-Loathing was kind of a dumb friend because it unlocked an erased memory deep in Laura’s subconscious. A memory that when she saw Sweeney stroll quietly in hit her dizzily in her solar plexus. It was a hazy memory and vanquished quickly by his voice, which made her heart jump in a strange little way that Shadow *never* did, and Guilt laughed at her. “You’re in love with Sweeney” Guilt mocked, “You’re a cheating lil bitch and you’re in love with the leprechaun.” It cackled like a green knobby witch at her, poking her with bony fingers. God fuck, why did Sweeney have to use that gentle soothing tone with her, where was the snarly ass? Ah, there he was, just be yourself, Laura, call him a few names, be rude and say what you feel. “ha-ha what you feel.” Shut up Guilt… because obviously this is some orchestrated *bullshit* to keep you dead.

When he grabbed her arm, that hazy odd memory came back… and the confusion made her even more angry.

_Loud music and raucous freshmen college students crowded into a beach bar… Laura hugging the corner of the bar trying to stay away from the frivolity which made her feel even smaller and appealed to her as much as a root canal. She had agreed to come with Audrey on spring break just because well... she was tired of telling her friend no._

Laura snapped back to the present to hear him going on about how he owed Wednesday and last night had nothing to do with him… what the fuck ever. She was done… she was raw. She was confused and there was nothing but chaos in her heart. So, she used her favorite term of coward… and left him standing there. Storming down the street, the memory came back again… in color and sound.

“ _Bit loud, huh.” An accented voice said by her left ear, Laura turned slowly to see a tall man with fiery red hair standing in disarray slid into the seat next to her. “yeah. It’s a bit much.” She said, bringing her drink up for a sip, “I’m not a huge party person.” She shrugged. The red head smirked, “Nah, ya don’t seem to be the type, you seem to be the type to prefer a quick fuck in the corner while everyone else parties.” Laura’s mouth opened, then closed, she nodded once. “Wow, just... get right to it, no pick up line. Gotta give you perks for that.” She raised her glass. The redhead shrugged, leaning back against the bar, “Eh, what can I say, over half the girls here are too drunk to know what they want, and I’m not really in the mood for heavy flirtin’, I know what I want.” His eyes, hazel and warm, filled slowly with a burning lust as they looked over her, bold in their dip to her skimpy tank top covering her bikini top, she could feel them caressing the curve of her mostly bare ass. Her pussy tingled with his gaze, it sparked something inside of her that she never felt… electric and alive, exciting and fulfilling. She’d fucked before. Once. Last year. It sucked. He came in less than a minute and had no idea how to make her feel anything, let alone an orgasm. Laura licked her lips, the redhead was older… way… way older than most of the people here, the way he looked at her she knew he knew how to make a woman’s time worth it. “Ok.” She said, shrugging. “Let’s do it.” She slid off the bar stool and headed for a dark corner in the back by the payphones no one used anymore. She felt him behind her, big, tall, intimidating, dangerous. When she went to turn to face him, he pushed her against the wall, her back still to him. She let out a sigh, her eyes closing. His body closed around her, “Move to that booth.” He said in her ear, nibbling it, he pushed her roughly, yet gently into the booth, guiding her to her knees on the bench, her back still against him, his knee parted her legs, “You want fucked like a whore.” He stated. She nodded, inclining her neck to his bites and nips, she felt his large hands rip her tank in the back and then untie her bikini and toss it aside, cupping her small breasts roughly until she gasped, bucking, it was just enough pain, he pinched her nipples and she moaned uninhibited. He knocked her legs wider and slipped his fingers into the crotch of her bottoms, sliding over the bare skin. “Shaved.” He purred, “There is somethin’ nice about this modern convenience.” He murmured in her ear, his fingers reaching to stroke her clit. “Fuck... just… god... fuck me.” She panted, writhing against him. Holy hell, even when she took care of herself it didn’t feel this good; every nerve was alive and pulsing like she was under some sort of spell. She bit her lip to keep from screaming as he thrust his cock deep into her. He was massive. Her legs shook with the sheer pleasure of just feeling him there, his hand came around her neck and pulled her back against him as he set a hard, steady pace, his lips at her back, speaking and swearing in some foreign language that sounded like music. Laura was ready to come in just about five seconds, his other hand rubbing her clit in great circles, as fast as his cock fucked her, she bucked, writhing against him in abandon, she reached back, pulling his hair hard. He growled… Loudly, and bit her, his dick thrust almost painfully deep. He was humping her like a wild dog, and she was relishing it. She didn’t think she’d ever feel this good again. His hand covered her mouth as she came, feeling him yank out of her, to spill on her legs. The stranger petted her hair, murmuring gentle things. “Forget me.” He purred, “Forget you ever felt or saw me, for you cannot have me, little human.” He nuzzled her and she felt dizzy, her mind tingling._

Laura had woken up in that phone booth ten minutes later, the backs of her knees covered in cum the only sign she’d fucked. She remembered the sex vaguely but could not remember who it was or his face… and she felt so very much more… dead… inside. Like something alive and vibrant had left with the stranger that fucked her. “God DAMNIT!” She stopped dead in her tracks and stomped. “That god-damn fucking cock sucker.” She shook her head, people passing her looking at her strangely. It was a very far stretch to say Wednesday had sent Sweeney to her spring break party in fucking Florida to fuck her. She didn’t even know Shadow at that point. “Fuck.” She almost whined, plopping down on the sidewalk, ironically at the same statue of St Jude she had found Sweeney at.

She put her head in her hands and rubbed her face, the weight of the potion heavy in her pocket. She thought something felt familiar about the way he fucked her last night… the slide and girth of his cock, the feel of his hands on her body, the way he stilled when she came, as if worshiping the very moment. She’d felt alive last night. Chalked it up to her second chance, but now realized it was much more than that.

“Two drops of blood infused with love.” The words came back to her. Yeah but who’s blood. She thought. Neither guilt nor self-loathing answered her. Comparing the memories, the difference was last night there was more than just electric magnetism between them. Especially coming from Sweeney. While she was reviling in feeling alive, he was looking at her and touching her like she was the most precious thing to him, like she belonged in his hoard. Laura looked around, searching for Shadow’s light and didn’t even sense it. It hurt. A little. Was more of a regret hurt than a heartbreak hurt. She should have treated him better.

“What will you do with your second chance, dead girl?” The words again floated into her head. The Baron had asked for truth and the truth came fast… the truest truth was she’d run fast into the arms of someone she swore she hated but made her feel very alive. It’s just his coin. She thought. The only reason he makes me feel that way. “Sure, and his coin was no where near you when he fucked you that first time.” A new voice said. Reality, she would call it. Reality was right. She felt the weight of the coin weigh heavy in her chest and she rubbed her heart, it felt like it was pulling her. Pulling her to stand up, to walk back to Coq Noir. The coin wanted its master, and she’d be fucked but she wanted him too. She wanted to feel the way her heart quivered in her undead chest when he looked at her the way he had last night. She wanted to hear his voice, gentle towards her, cuz it was honestly a hell of a lot nicer than cursing her.

“He loves you.” Reality stated as she reached the door of the pub. “He’s loved you longer than Shadow was a twinkle in Wednesday’s eye.” Why did Reality’s voice sound like a female version of Sweeney? All Irish and blustery. Shut up. Laura told the voice, pushing the door open.

Mama Brigette stood at the bar, putting out clean glasses, inspecting them. “Mornin’.” She greeted with a knowing smile.

Laura put on her polite face, because she was still a mess of confused and irritated. “He’s gone.” She stated more than asked. “No.” Mama Brigette shook her head, watching Laura closely as she set a glass down, “He’s upstairs. I wasn’t gonna let him leave.” She didn’t finish the sentence, but Laura got it. She’d known she’d come back for him. Gods. They needed to stay the fuck out of her head. “Thanks.” Laura said, her hand in her pocket was around the potion bottle and she headed up the stairs, the coin in her chest pulling her towards the room at the far end. She was about to knock when she heard a low moan through the door, and something twinge inside of her like jealousy. Surely, he wasn’t in there with someone. Before she kicked in the door, she heard her name, a whispered moan of reverence. Not dead Wife. Not roadkill Rhonda... not any derogatory name he’d called her since day one, but her real, legit name. She opened the door slowly, seeing him stretched out on the bed, a flask next to him and his hand gripping his cock loosely, flecks of white cum over his belly. “Well golly gee, if the potion called for two drops of jizz I’d be all fuckin’ set!” She announced her presence loudly.

Sweeney bolted up right, “Fuck!” he shouted in surprise, “What do you want, Dead wife.” He was glowering at her, but not making eye contact. Laura straddled him, hooking her arms around his neck. “I need your blood, Leprechaun.”

To be continued.... 


	2. Sweeney

“You need my what?” Sweeney pushed Laura off him, standing quickly, adjusting his pants. He glowered at her, she had hurt him, and he was too prideful to let it show even a smudge. Gods knew what she’d do with It if she saw it. Use it against him, more than like….

“Your blood. I need your blood.” Laura restated, sitting on the edge of the bed, almost primly, hands in her lap and feet on the floor.  
“Why ever the fuck for. You have my coin, my luck, now you want my blood... what’s next, ya want my head on a silver platter?”  
Laura’s mouth twitched slightly, and she breathed a long-suffering sigh. “No. My potion requires two drops of blood... and… well Shadow just isn’t an option anymore and we both know it.”  
Sweeney dropped to a chair, sprawling out and regarded her, “He’s your *puppy*” he said the last mockingly and bitterly.  
Laura looked away and out the window, “No. He’s Wednesday’s dog now. And I’ve hurt him enough for one life time.”  
Sweeney snorted, “Right, because you care how much you hurt *him*” There was something in his tone that made her look at him, but he averted his eyes.  
“Why do you care, Sweeney?” She said. There was no ire in her voice, but actual real curiosity. “I’m a cunt. A cheating, horrible, miserable, rude cunt.” She shook her head, “the Baron shouldn’t have even given me this.” She pulled the potion out and looked at it.  
“Well that ain’t a very grateful thing to be saying about the fuckin’ Baron.” Sweeney said, avoiding the question.  
“you didn’t answer my question.” Laura stated.  
Sweeney sighed, leaning back and looking at her, his expression flat but his eyes deep with emotion, almost pain. “I don’t fucking know why I care, dead wife.” He said, “You have brought me nothing but fucking misery but yet I’m fucking drawn to you like a moth to a flame, and I know it ain’t just because of my coin nestled between your tits.”  
Snark was Laura’s first and easiest reply, but his downcast eyes reminded her of a lost boy, his face soft and not at all ancient looking, tender almost. She bit her lip. “I need two drops of blood infused with love.” She said softly, “And I’m really bad with honesty, and I’m really bad with expressing what I’m thinking, and god FUCK do I feel guilty about what happened.” She sighed, looking up at the ceiling, “I cannot understand it. I had a life, Sweeney, a shitty one, but it was normal. And now... Now I’m the gods’ play thing, so excuse me for thinking this was one of Wednesday’s tricks, of course until I remembered.”  
“Remembered what?” He tilted his head.  
“Spring break, freshmen year of college. You fucked me in a phonebooth, then I guess… erased my memory or some shit.”  
A slow grin crawled across his face, “I’d forgotten that. I thought there was another reason you felt familiar.” His eyes twinkled devilishly.  
Laura growled and rolled her eyes, shaking her head, “So obviously that wasn’t one of his tricks because I didn’t even know Shadow at the time.”  
He watched her, not speaking.  
Laura stared back. “So. You gonna give me your blood or not.”  
Sweeney scoffed, “Always demandin’.” He shook his head and stood, walking to her, making her crane her head back to look up at him. “What makes you think my blood is what you need.”  
Laura snorted. “You were just moaning my name with your dick in your hand.”  
He nudged her back on the bed, laying her back, watching to see if she’d push him away. “Lust… ain’t the same as love.” He murmured, his eyes roving her face.  
“Right.” She said, her eyebrow quirked, “Because you weren’t awkward at all this morning and you talked to me in a tone, I don’t really think most people hear from you.”  
Sweeney dropped his head to hers, his knee between her legs, “I know how to talk to wild animals.”  
Laura shivered, fuck why was she letting him do this, she felt her half dead heart quiver and start to beat fast and raised a hand to his face. “Stop fucking with me and give it to me”  
“Why should I the way you treated me this mornin’.” He said, dropping kisses on her neck, grinning against her as she arched involuntarily. “Maybe its your own blood you need.” He purred, nipping her ear. “You said our deal was off.”  
“That was before I thought about shit. I came back, Sweeney, clearly... “She gasped as he sucked the junction of neck and shoulder, “Clearly I changed my mind.”  
He caught her lips in a kiss then, gentle and slow and his own heart betrayed him with a jump. She was so feisty, all fire and passion and she made him feel things he hadn’t for a very, very long time. “Tell me you never felt this way with yer husband.” He purred, nuzzling her.  
More truth. Everyone wanted truth around here. Thing was, in this house it was compelled from you. “No. You…” She sighed, her eyes opening, “Fuck you make me feel alive, Sweeney. I was confused and angry this morning because I felt *good* fucking you.” She laid still as he moved back, propping himself up to watch her face.  
Hazel eyes roamed and caressed her face and he smiled a little, “I was afraid.” He murmured, almost too quiet to hear, “When the magic happened and you came into my arms, I felt afraid.” He brushed his thumb on her cheek, “Afraid you would push away, run away, fuck it all up. I *want* to help you, Dead wife.”  
“Half dead.” She corrected, her eyes meeting his.  
“Mostly I want my coin back because my luck is run out.” He mused, “But helping you makes me feel… needed again.” He sighed, moving to the side and laid back beside her. “And you’re right, I am a coward. I don’t really want to die in a fuckin’ battle at all, but its what I owe.” He stopped there, not ready to get into the why.  
She sighed, “I am not sure I understand what happened last night… I thought I was telling the Baron my truth was I’d just keep on being my cheating self, but then… suddenly I’m in your arms riding your dick. How did that even happen? How did they *know*?”  
“They just do.” He said quietly. “The truth was which ones our hearts truly desired.” He admitted, closing his eyes.  
“Is that why you were up here jerking it to me?”  
Sweeney was quiet for long beats. “I wanted to die with the memory of your cunt in my head and the pleasure of fucking you in my blood. I think I deserve that.” He said in almost a whisper.  
Laura sat up, “Hold on. Die?”  
“Either a battle or my luck being shot to fuck.” He said wryly.  
Laura straddled him again, her slight weight hovering over him. “Well. I don’t exactly want you to die either.” She stated, hesitating before she leaned forward to brush her lips against his. The kiss deepened and his hand came to cup her neck, thumb stroking her neck. “I’m confused, I’m angry and I am a bitch, but I cannot deny how I feel and how I felt last night.”  
“Yeah, and how was that?”  
“No. No I’m done talking about my feelings, Sweeney, I need to hear yours. Its not my own damn blood I need, its yours and I need you to tell me why.” She sat back, lightly on his legs.  
Sweeney sat up, his arms going around her to keep her on his lap, his grip gentle, “We’re a hell of a lot alike, you and me.” He said, his voice and tone gentle and low. “You remind me of a lot of women I’ve known through the years. And I mean years.” He emphasized. “Even look like a few.” He sighed, “You probably need my blood because I’ll be damned if I go through all this shit and just hand you back to Shadow for you to go live your happy little human lives. Which, we both know is never gonna fuckin’ happen now, and I’ll be damned if I didn’t feel the green of jealousy with your misguided devotion to him.” His fingers tightened on her thighs. “You infuriate me, you wound me, but damn I want to keep you. I want to keep you safe from Wednesday and his fuckin’ plans, you don’t deserve to be a pawn, you deserve happiness and a *good* fuckin’ life.” His hand cupped her face, “I want the devotion you give to Shadow, except I want mine to be real, not from fucking guilt.”  
“So, you want my worship.” She stated, quirking her brow.  
“No.” He shook his head, “I just want you.” And gods damn all the sappy shit in the world he kissed her, cupping her face in both hands, “I want to give you the me that everyone has forgotten.” He murmured against her lips, his tongue flicking over them softly. “The king before he went mad, the husband and lover before it was taken away from him.” He pulled her closer, her cunt against his trouser covered cock. “I had a wife, a beautiful, kind wife, who had fire in her just like you if you riled her. I had children.’ He nuzzled her, “I miss being loved.” He murmured truthfully.  
Something broke inside Laura. Like a glow stick being snapped and a tenderness flooded her she had never felt for anyone. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close, her legs closing tightly. “I miss being loved too.” She whispered.  
That rattling box of feelings inside Sweeney all but exploded and flooded him and he held her tightly. Oh, he would give her his blood, he would give her everything she needed, just… “Don’t leave me again.” His cheeks reddened with shame at being needy, “So tired of being alone.” He closed his eyes, resting his head on her shoulder.  
Laura kissed his temple and sighed. Maybe this did go beyond Wednesday. After all they had met by chance so many years ago, and if she understood him correctly, their connection went back hundreds if not thousands of years. They didn’t fuck then. They just remained embraced while the sun went from the east to the west. They didn’t announce their love then either and when Laura awoke the next morning tangled in Sweeney’s sheets, the potion bottle sat on the night stand, a bloody thorn next to it with a note.  
“You have all of me, my truth is you.”


End file.
